Baltic Porter by Steel & Oak Brewing Co 

This beer is made from Baltic Sea water. Yes, I just made that up. Everyone knows that’s the secret ingredient in Molson Canadian, and one of the many reasons it sucks so unbelievably hard. I’d rather suck puke through a tube sock.

My manhood is at stake here.

*This beer, for whatever reason, weighs a ton.

The last porter I had by these guys was fantastic, so my hopes are as high as the concerning abv (7.6%). I’m not concerned with getting too drunk; I’m not a little bitch or anything. I’m more concerned with the beer suffering because of the nasty taste of alcohol. I really don’t like the taste of alcohol, and because of that, I refuse to drink hard liquor or any beer style that breaches the 10% abv mark (barleywine can suck my coin purse). I can handle my alcohol, but my manhood is clearly at stake here, so I figured I should clarify.

DOES HE. LOOK LIKE. A BITCH?

No. He does not.

The pour is a clear cola brown, with a BEAUTIFUL 3 fingers of light tan, cascading, soapy head. It almost looked nitrogenated for a moment. Has some sporadic spiderweb lacing going on.

The smells are very mild overall. Getting a little toffee, liquorice, and a pinch of smokey cacao. No alcohol aroma! Bravo!

The tastes are rich and delicate. Burnt toffee, liquorice, cocao, oily nuts and a pinch of smoke. Simple, creamy, decent. The abv is completely undetectable. Nice.

The mouthfeel is heavy and smooth with pretty good carbonation. After tastes are barely there, just a tinge of cacao.

3/5 I think this just doesn’t have enough punch to it, I think the overall palate should be a bit bolder, just seems a bit boring. It’s OK, but totally skippable in favor of their other beers, like the 4 grain porter, which is fantastic.

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