‘Kaleidoscope’ IPA by Phillips Brewing Co 

This was recommended to me, but I can’t remember when or who. I suppose that information is useless anyway. Which is weird because I’m actually very good at remembering useless crap that only ever gets used when watching Jeopardy!

Easy. “Nobody does it better” by Nate Dogg

The label here is kinda meh design-wise, but as is the case with Phillips beers, it really ‘pops’ next to everything else on the shelf. I don’t know what it is exactly about the custom bottles, but I just love the look and feel of them; long and slim. I might be bias though considering I’ve been a long and slim human for over 20 years? Long in the pant and slim in the fucks given.

Bring back low cut jeans!

On the topic of pants (a favorite of mine), when I was in high school in the late 90s to early 00s, the fashion for girls was the super low-ride jeans that exposed a bit of butt cleavage. Those were exciting times(literally)! Now, today we have tights and yoga pants, which is just phenomenal and I would never complain about, but(t) for some ungodly reason, there also exists those horrid high-waisted jeans that make it look like the ass is goes halfway up the lower back. I hate them! The long ass look is terrible, and it needs to stop! If you haven’t figured it out by now, I like a nice posterior and am clearly incapable of being untruthful about the matter. *Translation:🎵I like big butts and I cannot lie🎵

It’s been a looong ass day.

The pour is a clear honey amber, with a half finger of head that immediately ebbed to a tiny collar.

The smells are sweet, citrus and a little piney. Oranges, exotic fruits, slight pine and a citrus spice. Pretty good so far.

The tastes are very mild overall. Exotic fruit basket, with a hint of pine and tangy orange. Has a barely-there grainy malt note. At 6.5% I can juuuust taste the alcohol, but it isn’t bothersome. It leaves a little heat on the throat.

The mouthfeel is mid-heavy and pretty damn smooth. Has vibrant, bubbly carbonation going on. Flavors start strong and quickly taper off, leaving mostly the citrus tingle and alcohol heat.

3/5 As far as IPA goes, it’s a pass. I didn’t get anything here I haven’t had elsewhere, done much better. I will be visiting Phillips soon, and I surely will be chronicling my misadventure. I’m hopeful that I’ll find a hidden gem amongst their lineup somewhere. This particular brew however, is a one-and-done.

My reaction when a girl with a great ass walks by.

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