Arctic Kolsch by Swans Brewpub 

This had better not be minty. I’m going to be very annoyed if this is minty. MINT HAS NO PLACE IN MY BEER. That’s as bad as drinking orange juice after brushing your teeth. Pure, unbridled, murderous hatred, in flavor form. 

Ben & Jerry’s from the little shop of pure evil.

Mint is such a specific flavor. There really isn’t anything else like it, except maybe hot spices. When it comes to mint, it’s Yorkshire Mint Patties, or fuck right off. And that’s all I have to say about that! 

Seriously, this had better not be mint. I will snapshow.

Again, just for clarity. Fuck. Mint. 

Anyhoo, the label is shiney and quite sharp looking overall. If something as innocuous as a beer label can look professional, this manages it. I’ve never tried Swans Brewpub, and I was surprised to find out they’ve been around since 1989! I was 6 when these guys started up. They must be doing something right, one would think, otherwise they’d be.. Oh I don’t know.. At home, washing their tights? 

Ooooop. Oooooooop.

The pour is a clear, straw amber color with a little bit of fizz on top. Small collar and no lacing. The smells are light grains, and a sweet pear and floral bouquet. Simple and sweet. 

The tastes are pretty straightforward too. Fresh grains, something like Shreddies cereal, and a dank floral hit. Has a little citrus fadeoff in the mix, just barely noticeable. This is an anytime beer. Anytime but driving. Or working, maybe.

The mouthfeel is light and crushable. Flavors just wash the whole palate down. Good amount of carbonation. 

4/5 Really solid ‘everyman’ beer! If you like beer, it’s pretty much impossible to dislike this. If you don’t like beer, what are you doing here? Leave. Yes now. 

My found memes are too good for you.


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