Kettle Sour by Russell Brewing Co 

Hold on, I’ll put the kettle on, it’s sour time! Sour number, like, 50 something. I might kind of enjoy this style? Kind of like how I enjoy air and sustenance, sour is life, and life can be oh-so-sour. Or maybe I’m just sour…

An ‘orrible cunt!

I can’t help but say ‘Russell’ without saying it in a faux-Indian accent à la Russell Peters. See, I love playing with fake accents. I can do a pretty killer faux east Indian, Cantonese, Mandarin, Jamaican, and a handful of others. If you’ve never tried it, I highly recommend it. Just be careful where you practice them, because y’know, accidental racism.

Did someone brink?

Seriously, it’s fun. I think I can probably use my powers to mess with people on the phone, acting like multiple people in a call center or something. The ultimate goal will be to be able to subtly shift from one accent, to a completely different accent, slowly over the course of a conversation. How much of a mindfuck would that be? “A moment ago I was sure this guy was Australian, but now he sounds Iranian..”. I would die happy. Lonely, alone, but happy about audibly fucking someone’s brain up that one time.

Enough of that shit.

The label is pretty lackluster. Needs work. See me after class.

The pour is a slightly hazy golden amber with a half finger of fizzy bubbles that fizzled out quickly, leaving a small collar and flecks of lacing.

The smells are big lactobacillus, banana candies, pineapple, melons and a sweet doughy overture. Smells fantastic! Quite delicate aroma overall. Sweet and mellow.

The tastes are stone fruits, lemon tarts, watermelon, pineapple, basement musk, and a sweet dough like a glazed doughnut. Has a slight lactobacillus ring to it, overall this is probably the mildest sour I’ve ever tried. Really tasty!

The mouthfeel is mid-bodied and crisp with a slight sticky finish. Light tickling carbonation. Flavors spike around the back of the palate and leave a nice glowing melony aftertaste.

4/5 That’s a great sour! A menage of melons with a good doughy balance, musky ‘je ne sais quoi’ and slight sour tint. I’ll get this again! Recommended for sour curmudgeons and maybe cider fans? Great beer.

The gifs today are bite-sized.

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