‘Quilter’s Irish Death’ Dark, smooth ale by Iron Horse Brewery 

🎵 Too much trippin’ and my souls worn thin🎵 – Stone Temple Pilots

I sure could go for a Quilter’s Irish Death right about now. The icy hand of death could probably bump up my adrenaline levels just enough to strangle that fucker with an Irish quilt. Lemmy Kilmiester was killed by death, and I’d like to take a crack at killing death itself. Throw the whole world out of wacky like that Family Guy episode.

Time to take up naked base jumping!

I picked up this bottle in the USA during a jaunt across the border recently. Went down to Seattle to see a guitarist by the name of Buckethead. Yes, he wears a bucket on his head if you are unfamiliar with the name. He also wears a mannequin mask, because… Weird needs no explanation? Guess he likes his anonymity? I understand the weird (source: am weirdo), but not the anonymity. I try to stand out because I’m a dirty attention whore, and not afraid to admit it.

Born in a chicken coop, according to legends. Spider fingerey fuck.

The label isn’t super creative (ooooh skulls! What’s next, a barbed wire arm band and some tribal?), but it does ‘pop’. I mean, it caught my eye so that’s worth something. Even if my eye tends to catch the most difficult of the strangest, it’s better than catching the clap. You catch the clap every time you give a round of applause anyway. Hurhur.

The fun kind of STD.

The pour is a clear dark brown with a finger and a half of bubbly light brown foam. Has some moderately clingy lacing.

The smells are sugary and fruity with some lower dark malt slights. Brown sugar, molasses, cinnamon, figs, light chocolate, tannins, black current, and a roasted nut hue. Very sweet overall, with a slight alcohol warmth.

The tastes are also very sweet overall. Hard to peg the style here. It’s like a dark Scotch with the sweet turned up to a Dunkel level. OK, getting pepper, olives (..the fuck), brown sugar, molasses, slight chocolate, vanilla bean, fig, toasted marshmallow and a bready backbone. It’s key here is sweetness, and the abv is very well hidden at nearly 8%. That’s commendable.

The mouthfeel is surprisingly light, and maybe a bit watery with a sticky finish. Flavors don’t hang around long, leaving a sugary wtf in their wake.

3.5/5 This was an oddball brew. I like it well enough, but I’m not even sure what it’s trying to do. Get it if… Uh.. I dunno man, just get it if you’re bored like me.

My reaction when.

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