‘Cookie Beer’ by Brasserie d’Ecaussinnes

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Why not? It says cookie on it, how bad could it be? My gut says very.

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If I don't make it, tell my wife I said "Hello".

There’s like a half inch of sediment in this bottle, that’s pretty insane for the size. I might expect this much junk in a bomber, but it’s pretty concerning seeing this in a standard size bottle. I’d touch on the label, but as you can clearly see, it’s about as shitty as a label can possibly look. If you are going to put in zero effort, this is what happens.

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"Not my problem"

The pour is a cloudy amber with tons of fucking chunks floating in it. I was very careful pouring it too, there’s just a huge amount of sediment in this beer. No head, no lacing. Decent collar. Looks gross. The carbonation is swirling the debris around… I guess it’s doing its best lava lamp impression?

The smells sour lactose (dafuq?), holiday spice (dafuq?!), baking chocolate and maybe molasses. I can’t tell, I don’t want to get my nose too close anymore. This shit sticks, yo.

The tastes are holiday spice, lactose and, oh lawd this is awful. I can’t drink this anymore. Fucking nasty. It tastes like a holiday spice candle. It tastes like the seasonal aisle in Walmart. NO BUENO.

The mouthfeel is light and bubbly. I’d go further in to detail but this is far too gross to continue.

1/5 Putrid. Repulsive. I’d give it a zero if my usual audience would let me (they rabble when I dole out a zero). Three tastes is as far as I got. Stay far away from this brew. I like cookies, but this isn’t cookie flavored; it’s bath-bead flavored. Fuck this beer. This is absolutely the worst brew I’ve ever tried. I can’t say anything nice about this, because it literally has no redeeming qualities.

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A big fat NO.

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Made me wretch.

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