‘Salty Scot’ Sea Salted Scotch Ale by Parallel 49 Brewing Co

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Aye laddie! Me Mah an Pah got me thas fer Christmas tyme, sa I figgir I be reviewin’ it fer ye. This review will be completely illegible if I keep that up, so I won’t.

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GREASE ME UP WOMAN!... Okie dokie.

I wasn’t sure if I’d ever had a Scottish Ale before, so after a quick Google I’ve determined that yes, I have. The most notable would be the highly overrated ‘Innis & Gunn’ Oak Barrel something-or-other. Innis fucking sucks, and I don’t give a corny turd nugget who says otherwise. Innis is stale, uninspired crap drank by people that THINK they know what a good beer is. I assure you, I won’t let the nightmarish memories of the befouled, perfume-pruno mar my review of this in any way. I will simply forget Innis exists and be better for it. I’ve taken off my mask, now let’s see if you can take off yours.

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I'm glad you're dead! HAH-HAHAHA!

I always enjoy the cartoonish artwork on Parallel 49s labels, it somewhat reminiscent of the ‘Garbage Pail Kids’ to me. Minus the grossness.

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Also known as 'Meth Matty' or 'Maple Ridge Marty'.

Blech.

The pour is a clear dark amber with aboot a halfa finger of light tan, puffy foam. It slowly ebbed to a nice full haze. Has a good deal of fine lacing going on. A handsome brew!

The smells are toffee, toasted nuts, wine barrel and some odd fruits I can’t seem to decipher.. Something like figs but not. It’s peculiar, I don’t love it.

The tastes are salty caramel (outta left field, clearly), walnuts, prunes, sweet red berries, figs(?), and some mild earthy backdrop. The salt is too much, this is a pretty powerful flavor scheme, a la ‘wee heavy’.

The mouthfeel is medium bodied with decent carbonation. It’s a little sticky right in the middle of the tongue. Flavors seem to pop big in the back edges of the mouth. Not a pounder. It be a sipper laddie!

3/5 It’s pretty good but the saltiness didn’t work that well for me. It’s worth a shot, especially if you love ‘wee heavy’ styles, or you are a saltwater mammal of some type that’s looking for a beer reminiscent of home.

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Salty like the tears of my enemies.

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