You ever have a transcendent experience?
Hey! A green cave? Well I have no idea where I am, so why not? *Tick tick tick tick*. I’m greeted by an old man in a red robe who immediately offers me a beer, “It’s dangerous to go alone, take this!”, he stated without even introducing himself or explaining why he’s hanging out in a green cave in the middle of nowhere. OK bud, you’d better not be trying to Bill Cosby me here.
So I poured the beer, a dark amber with no head, tiny collar and light, sporadic lacing. Looking good! I thank the old guy, who responds by not blinking or breathing. Now let’s figure where the hell I am.
Upon exiting the cave (*tick tick tick tick*) I noticed a short Italian stereotype excitedly jumping in my general direction. A perfectly straight line actually. Holy SHIT can this guy jump! He’s easily jumping five times his height, and even though he’s basically a midget, that’s still some NBA-calibre jumping ability.
I witness him proceed to headbutt several bricks, completely shattering them in the process. This guy’s practically begging for a concussion. One of the bricks shat out a giant, possibly sentient, mushroom that immediately fused with his body. Now, normally the user of the mushroom is going to be the once that experiences a hallucinogenic effect, right? That fucker immediately doubled in size! I had to rub my eyes and do a double take. I’m not following that guy.
I take another slam of the mystery beer. The smells are fresh wheat and a nice floral hop hit. Simple, clean and welcome considering my bewildering predicament.
I wander a short distance, marveling at the oddly angular trees, Hills and… Well everything, when suddenly a massive ‘L’ slams down in front of me! I jump back as several more blocks slam down perfectly around the L and instantly vaporize into nothingness. What the fuck dude. I pound back the remainder of the brew because I’m completely dumbfounded and being inebriated might help me wrap my head around this madness.
The tastes are salted dough, biscuits, light caramel and spicy hop notes. A bit of flowers and cut grass. This is a great lager. That old man makes killer beer.
The mouthfeel is typical lager, light, airy and crushable. A session worthy brew.
I’m heading back to that cave. I need another one of these.
4.5/5 Best lager I’ve ever had. No joke. I don’t usually bother with lagers because they’re straightforward and boring, but this is somewhat complex and interesting. I’ll be grabbing more of these if that stoic caveman is still standing there.
*tick tick tick tick*